i’m mary and i’m martha all at the same time

i’m sitting at His feet and yet i’m dying to be recognized
  i am a picture of contentment and i am dissatisfied
why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes?

i’m restless, and i rustle like a thousand tall trees
i’m twisting and i’m turning in an endless daydream
You wrestle me at night and i wake in search of You
but try as i might, i just can’t catch You
but i want to because i need You
i can’t catch You, but i want to.

how long, how long until i’m home?
i’m so tired, so tired of running
how long until You come for me?

(audrey assad, ‘lament‘)